Real Life, Man.

Remember that time I graduated?

Yeah, I don’t. 

It has been a whirlwind of job hunting and resume fixing and freelance working since that fateful day in December. Currently, nothing full time. I have been dabbling in freelance social media, though, and it seems to be right up my alley. So for the time being, it’s the closest thing I have to a job.

Basically, it means that I’m completely neglecting my own social media and blog because I’m juggling multiple other accounts simultaneously.

Remember those resolutions I set up for myself?

Yeah, not sure I do either. 

Fingers crossed that one day soon my life will settle down enough that I can get back to those goals I tried setting for myself.

Until then, keep on facing fearless.

Facing Netflix

Clearly I’ve been absent from here for a while.

Running away from the black hole of laziness is difficult….especially since running is hard. I’ve found that the busier I am, the easier it is for me to just sit on my couch and watch Netflix instead. Anyone with an account can tell you how quickly it consumes you and how hard it is to get yourself back out.

I recently began a new internship that basically became a full time job very quickly. On top of that, it’s my last semester of school and I’m swamped with the final stretch of academia. On top of THAT is all the things that I want to do for myself: write a novel, learn lettering, finish reading the first Game of Thrones book.

Instead, Netflix.

The easiest thing when you’ve had a long day of working or going to class is to just sit down in front of the TV and binge watch Supernatural (trust me, it’s a problem). Or take a nap. That’s become pretty common too. I’ve essentially become an 80 year old woman in a matter of a couple weeks.

If any of you have tips for getting out of this black hole I’ve entered, please send them my way. And no, self control isn’t an answer.

Sincerely,

Lazy college kid with big dreams

Facing Disappointment

 

 

Disappointment is inevitable.

That’s not cynicism or pessimism or anything like that – it’s just fact.

 

At some point in everyone’s life they have some sort of expectations. Disappointment stems from when the real life situation doesn’t necessarily match the one you had played out in your head.

 

We can all say we won’t expect anything or our “expectations won’t be as high this time”, but it’s a hard thing to master.

 

In fact, disappointment seems to be one of the biggest fears I come in contact with in my life: not wanting to disappoint a boss, our parents, a significant other, a friend, or most importantly, yourself. It’s so easy to worry about this possible disappointment rather than looking at all the other factors at play.

 

Let’s just take a second to check out this definition above. All three definitions involve another person. Meaning, it’s more likely that you’re worried about disappointing someone else.

 

You can’t let another person define you or your happiness. You also can’t let someone else cause pressure to form on you to do something a certain way. It’s not fair to you.

 

So here’s what I need you to do – stop. Look around. Who are YOU afraid of disappointing? Are there expectations too high? Better yet, are yours?

 

Once you answer these questions, you’ll be one step closer to facing disappointment.

 

Happy soul searching.

 

– AB

Social Media

For everyone like me out there that feels the need to be active on every social media outlet ever, I have created other ways to keep up with this blog. I’ll just list them all below and you can take your pick of what you’d like to follow!

Tumblr: facingfearless.tumblr.com

Twitter: @facing_fearless

Facebook: facebook.com/facingfearlessblog

Instagram: @facingfearless

Pinterest: pinterest.com/facingfearless

Of course, you’re also welcome to just hang out here on WordPress. That’s totally acceptable.

Either way, thanks for reading!

Note to Self: Part 1

So recently I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and a lot more looking back. I had an interesting thought – “What advice would I give my past self if i could?”. I thought it might be fun to write it down in sort of a serial manner. Heck, maybe I can pass something on to you too, or even just get you thinking of your own advice. Here goes nothing. 

1. Yes, you’re shy, but don’t let that stop you from looking someone in the eyes or being the first one to say hello. Don’t wait for them to say it first. It might make you look like you’re just being rude. 

2. Take chances. Some of the best things in life stem from the people and situations you take a chance on. Don’t let fear cause you to miss out on something great. 

3. Just because you might not feel like you’re “as good” as someone else at something, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Everyone has their own styles and strengths; find yours and build on it. 

4. Don’t try to mold yourself to the people around you just to fit in. You were made by God to be the person you are. Don’t change that for anyone (unless there’s something that you want to change/work on to become a better you. But only then.)

5. Do what you love. Sometimes our hobbies aren’t where we end up working but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do them. There’s a reason you enjoy the things you enjoy. Go find out what that reason is. 

6. Hibernation is for bears. I don’t care how anti-social you’re feeling. Find one person you can happily sit in silence with and study with them or watch mindless TV. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the company. 

7. Don’t talk badly about people. Just don’t do it. Simple as that. 

8. Complaining won’t change a thing. Not the weather, not your grade on a test, not how late your blind date is. Also, no one really wants to hear it. If you need to vent, start a journal (or do what I did and just start a blog). 

9. Don’t be afraid to go to counseling. People are so easily ashamed of the problems they are facing, but there’s no reason to be. There’s a reason these jobs exist. Take advantage of that. 

10. Don’t be a doormat. You shouldn’t have to compromise your desires, decisions, or beliefs because you want to make someone else happy. In the long run, will you be happy too?

 

Alright, so this is just part one. Let these soak in and maybe pass them along to someone else who might need them. 

Until next time. 

Spare Change

Change can be scary. Trust me, I know. 

I’m quite possibly the biggest pack rat you will ever meet. From movie ticket stubs to foreign currency to maps and brochures of places I’ve been, I just don’t have the heart to throw anything away that was at once important to me. 

This may seem like no big deal to you, or it could sound like the newest episode of Hoarders. Either way, let’s talk about this for a second. 

Change is probably one of my biggest fears and it appears in so many different situations. We’ll start with the small scale of holding on to mementos and souvenirs. To me, everything that comes from a trip or a fun adventure becomes a souvenir. Have I ever sat and looked through this old stuff or used it for anything? No. But it’s that feeling that the second you throw it away you’ll suddenly get this urge to begin scrapbooking, as if it’s that simple. So instead, I just fill shoeboxes full of things that collect dust. This fear of change comes in the form of nostalgia, simply in the physical sense. 

The more emotional side of nostalgia comes during long stays in a certain place or with certain people. I tend to very quickly grow attached to people or places, which makes leaving exceedingly different. A great (and slightly embarrassing) example of this in my life came during the summer before college. I’ve always been close to my parents, to the point that leaving them to go to school terrified me. The idea that I may never live with them for an extended period of time kept me up every night for those three months after graduation. While everyone else seemed to be overly excited for their new adventure, I was having a hard time honing in on that excitement. I knew it was there somewhere, but it was hidden behind that fear of change. Of course, everything changes once you actually head off to school and get settled into your life and, as a senior in college, I can say that I’ve adjusted fully to this idea of being an “adult”. I was just so used to my life at home that I knew I would miss everything that I had become accustomed to. 

It’s just as easy to get attached to an item, whether it be something from your childhood or something from a long lost lover. It’s not as easy to just throw it away as everyone else seems to think it is. An item can hold memories for you and sometimes it’s just hard to let them go. 

The final type of change, that tends to be the toughest for me, is when either you or a loved one leaves for an extended period of time. In the coming days, someone special in my life will be leaving the country for 23 days (yes, I’ve already begin the countdown). This wouldn’t be such a tough thing for me if this wasn’t someone I spent every single day with. The idea of this person being, for the most part, out of touch, and not even in the same country is hard to think about, though I’m filled with excited for his adventure. I’ve just grown so accustomed to him being around that it’ll take at least a week to adjust to a situation far outside our norm. I don’t know that this is one that will ever really get easier for me and I’m okay with that. This just means that I care enough to miss their presence in my life, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Bottom line is this: it’s perfectly okay to fear change – just don’t let that fear slow you down. 

Grab fear by the horns and face change head on. Find a new normal when your old one becomes obsolete. You may find this new one is even greater than you imagined. 

Change is good. 

The struggles of real life.

It’s nearly impossible for me to find a second to sit down and right lately.

I’m smack dab in the middle of this huge project (for those of you who haven’t check out Moon River Music Festival you should) and it’s taking up all my spare time and energy.

I will be back, I promise. Give me two weeks tops. Until then, I’ll at least try to post funny pictures or reblog some relevant posts.

You guys are great. Here’s a fancy cat.

 

 

Falling Behind

This is one of everyone’s biggest fears, whether you realize it or not. Whether it be not meeting deadlines or falling behind one of your coworkers. no one wants to be in last place. 

The reason I started thinking about this was because clearly I’ve fallen behind on my “one post a week” goal. Not only is this disappointing to me, as I’m letting myself down, but I’m sure it’s also disappointing to you, my readers. Here’s the deal: life gets busy. There is always going to be something else that steals your attention; something that you put ahead of your self-implemented goals, because when someone else is depending on you, it’s a lot easier to let yourself be the one to get let down. Nut goodness, don’t let that get you down. You may feel like you’re “falling behind” but that could also be because you set unrealistic goals for yourself. I do that on a regular basis. I mean, come on, weekly posts on a college student’s schedule? Not impossible, but not the easiest thing either. So here’s a goal for myself that I hope helps you out too: set challenging goals for yourself, but don’t let it disappoint you if….no, when they don’t always go as planned. 

You can’t be afraid to challenge yourself, just because you fear the possibility of maybe falling behind someone else, or even something that you hoped to do. The thing is, that person you’re “competing” with could be sacrificing something else in their life to get ahead in this one thing. I know, all you perfectionists out there are having major anxiety reading this.But here’s my challenge to you: don’t beat yourself up if not every single thing goes as planned or if you happen to fall behind, in either a deadline or just generally aren’t as “ahead” of a coworker as you’d hoped. Things will all work out the way they’re supposed to. 

Just face this fear within yourself because it’s never worth it to beat yourself up. Ever. 

So don’t. 

Simple as that 🙂 

If You’re Happy and You Know It

I feel like I should be clapping my hands, stomping my feet, AND saying hooray right about now. 

Have you ever had those days where you just walk around with a dumb smile on your face because everything just feels great? This isn’t one of those “my life is better than yours”, bragging moments. I’ll still be addressing another fear here in a second. But first, if you aren’t having one of those aforementioned days, here is a picture of a puppy wearing pajamas. You can’t suppress a smile while looking at this. That might be scientifically proven (I definitely just made that up but roll with it). 

 

Now for the intention of this post. People have to face happiness on a daily basis. This one might be easier for some people to understand than the other ones I’ve brought up. Just think about it, how often have you heard the phrases “don’t worry, be happy” or “just do what makes you happy”? (actually be honest here, it’s important for the rest of the lesson). There is so much pressure to be happy all the time and that is downright impossible. People have down days. It’s just the way of the world. Now I’m definitely not telling you to walk around acting like Eeyore all the time because no one wants that. But it’s okay to sit down and have a good cry (or eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s) sometimes after a hard week or dealing with a tough situation. In fact, it’s not healthy to hold all that in. You’ll just end up lashing out at someone you love and regretting it later. 

The thing is, in the world we live in now, it’s tough not to find something to cheer you up. You hold in your hands millions of cat videos, funny pictures, and memes. At your disposal whenever you need them. If that doesn’t put a smile on your face then…turn on the television and see what awaits you there! Write, draw, paint, do SOMETHING you love. I promise you it’ll cheer you up in a second. Maybe talking things out with someone helps you. If that’s the case, call up a friend, your mom, or even a counselor- there’s absolutely no shame in that! They’re trained for your down days and may provide you a new outlook that can help you have less of the down days to begin with. 

My challenge to you is this: make a list of everything (and I mean everything) that makes you happy. The next time you’re feeling down, pull that out a take a crack at every one of those things, if that’s what it takes. If you don’t end up smiling, pull up this post and look at that puppy again. I mean, come on. How cute is he?

I’m also willing to lend an ear if you need someone to listen. 

Everyone deserves to be happy. Just don’t hide it when you aren’t. I promise you there is at least one person out there who cares enough to pick you up when you’re down. Keep an eye out for them and don’t let them slip away. 

Don’t worry, be happy. 

😉 

Show me the meaning…

For those of you who were Backstreet Boys fans, you know the rest of that sentence is “of being lonely”. Lonely is a word that has been used in so many different situations during my 20 years of living. What it all boils down to is this: there are three true forms of loneliness. You can be lonely in the sense that you are far from God. Nothing is more fulfilling than a close relationship with our Maker himself. There’s loneliness in the sense of “hey, it’s Friday night and I’m home alone. Again. Cool” (this is usually the category I’m in). Then there’s the lonely you feel when you don’t even seem to be close with yourself (I’ll explain that a little later).

The first kind of lonely is common in the life of a Christian girl in college. Or ever. Homework, friends, television…anything, really, seems to trump that time with God. Before this year began, I made one big resolution for myself. Which, was silly in itself. Everyone knows that resolutions tend to be broken. Anyways, I just got this new Bible and in the back was a year long reading plan. I saw that an immediately knew that was something I wanted to do. I’ve always wanted to read through the entire Bible, and this was the perfect time to start. Well, it’s February 17th, and I’m almost exactly a month behind. So there goes that plan. Now it’s time to start catching up. You see, when I made that plan, I was on break from school and therefore didn’t have anything but free time. Somehow, when our schedules fill up, we forget that God always comes first. Always. A life without God just leaves this hole that nothing else can truly fill. Loneliness.

The next kind of lonely is the kind you feel when you’re sitting home alone on a Friday night. Every Friday night, to be more specific. This is the kind that makes you question just about everything that makes you who you are. I was in that place for a long time. You sign on to Facebook, see all your ‘friends’ posting pictures of their fun weekend plans, and there you are, on your couch. Just you, Netflix, and your pals Ben and Jerry. In the grand scheme of things, this type of loneliness actually connects back to that first one. As cliche as it is, you are never truly alone with God on your side. So when you’re wondering where you went wrong, send up a prayer. God will answer. However, if you’re like me, you might actually just have to step out of your hermit tendencies and reach out to people yourself. Realizing that has done wonders for me. Someone else might want to feel wanted just as much as you do. Just reach out.

The last type of lonely deals with your sense of self worth. Basically, these all tie together in some way or another. Your self worth can come from one of two places: God or your peers. Option two is the one that will leave you lonely and, quite frankly, sad. You’ll begin to feel empty every time a day goes by and no one has texted you or every Friday night you’re left alone while everyone else has the time of your life. A subcategory of your peers would also be a significant other, and I’ve been known to make that mistake once or twice. Placing your worth in a relationship with someone you’ve been dating a week, a month, or even a year can be a dangerous thing. It puts you in this endless cycle of disappointment. Then, if this isn’t the guy (or girl) God intended you to spend the rest of your life with, then you’re suddenly in this slump as you desperately cling to anyone you may even be slightly interested in, hoping they’ll fill that gap. Hoping they’ll make you feel good enough.

None of these are anything to be ashamed of. In fact, call up a friend right now and ask them if they’ve ever felt (or are currently feeling) lonely in any one of these ways. Maybe that will bring you closer and you can finally get rid of that Netflix account. Or, you might get laughed at because the person on the other end is currently trying to be strong. That’s a dangerous thing. Watch out for people who are hiding their loneliness in order to feel strong or superior. They tend to be the most vulnerable and in need of the most love. So if there’s anything I can pass on to you, it’s this: loneliness is normal. In fact, acknowledging your loneliness is one of the bravest things you can too. Talking about it with someone else is basically an act of heroism. Basically. Don’t quote me on that. My challenge to you today is to FACE LONELY. You’ll be glad you did.