What I Learned from Mindy Kaling.

Mindy Kaling is basically the greatest person ever.

Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but she has taught me a lot about how to be a better me. There’s an American Express commercial where she talks about how everyone always told her she would make a great ‘best friend’ but wouldn’t make it any further than that in television. Well, look at her now. The Office, The Mindy Project, Inside Out. It’s almost as if, everywhere you turn, there she is.

Besides being absolutely hilarious, she is a great role model for women everywhere. Let me tell you why.

1. Confidence. She owns every ounce of who she is. She doesn’t feel the need to conform to Hollywood’s standards because she’s done pretty well exactly the way she is. This is a rare occurrence in show business these days.
2. Resilience. I can’t even begin to guess how many people told her ‘no’ on her climb to the top. Did she give up? Nope. She brushed herself off and kept on trying (and boy, am I glad she did).
3. Fearlessness. She’s not afraid to speak her mind. She’s honest, she’s funny, and, even better, she’s able to laugh at herself.

After years of celebrities going to rehab, getting arrested, and just generally spiraling, it’s incredibly refreshing to have someone like Mindy on TV (or Hulu now, I guess). I haven’t been one to model my life after someone famous for many years now, but between Mindy and Lena Dunham, I may just start. There’s a lot to learn from strong, confident women who are following their dreams and Mindy is just one of them.

Good job, Mindy, and thank you.

Real Life, Man.

Remember that time I graduated?

Yeah, I don’t. 

It has been a whirlwind of job hunting and resume fixing and freelance working since that fateful day in December. Currently, nothing full time. I have been dabbling in freelance social media, though, and it seems to be right up my alley. So for the time being, it’s the closest thing I have to a job.

Basically, it means that I’m completely neglecting my own social media and blog because I’m juggling multiple other accounts simultaneously.

Remember those resolutions I set up for myself?

Yeah, not sure I do either. 

Fingers crossed that one day soon my life will settle down enough that I can get back to those goals I tried setting for myself.

Until then, keep on facing fearless.

Facing Netflix

Clearly I’ve been absent from here for a while.

Running away from the black hole of laziness is difficult….especially since running is hard. I’ve found that the busier I am, the easier it is for me to just sit on my couch and watch Netflix instead. Anyone with an account can tell you how quickly it consumes you and how hard it is to get yourself back out.

I recently began a new internship that basically became a full time job very quickly. On top of that, it’s my last semester of school and I’m swamped with the final stretch of academia. On top of THAT is all the things that I want to do for myself: write a novel, learn lettering, finish reading the first Game of Thrones book.

Instead, Netflix.

The easiest thing when you’ve had a long day of working or going to class is to just sit down in front of the TV and binge watch Supernatural (trust me, it’s a problem). Or take a nap. That’s become pretty common too. I’ve essentially become an 80 year old woman in a matter of a couple weeks.

If any of you have tips for getting out of this black hole I’ve entered, please send them my way. And no, self control isn’t an answer.

Sincerely,

Lazy college kid with big dreams

Facing Disappointment

 

 

Disappointment is inevitable.

That’s not cynicism or pessimism or anything like that – it’s just fact.

 

At some point in everyone’s life they have some sort of expectations. Disappointment stems from when the real life situation doesn’t necessarily match the one you had played out in your head.

 

We can all say we won’t expect anything or our “expectations won’t be as high this time”, but it’s a hard thing to master.

 

In fact, disappointment seems to be one of the biggest fears I come in contact with in my life: not wanting to disappoint a boss, our parents, a significant other, a friend, or most importantly, yourself. It’s so easy to worry about this possible disappointment rather than looking at all the other factors at play.

 

Let’s just take a second to check out this definition above. All three definitions involve another person. Meaning, it’s more likely that you’re worried about disappointing someone else.

 

You can’t let another person define you or your happiness. You also can’t let someone else cause pressure to form on you to do something a certain way. It’s not fair to you.

 

So here’s what I need you to do – stop. Look around. Who are YOU afraid of disappointing? Are there expectations too high? Better yet, are yours?

 

Once you answer these questions, you’ll be one step closer to facing disappointment.

 

Happy soul searching.

 

– AB

Social Media

For everyone like me out there that feels the need to be active on every social media outlet ever, I have created other ways to keep up with this blog. I’ll just list them all below and you can take your pick of what you’d like to follow!

Tumblr: facingfearless.tumblr.com

Twitter: @facing_fearless

Facebook: facebook.com/facingfearlessblog

Instagram: @facingfearless

Pinterest: pinterest.com/facingfearless

Of course, you’re also welcome to just hang out here on WordPress. That’s totally acceptable.

Either way, thanks for reading!

NewNewNew

Life these days is moving faster that I can seem to keep up with. Everything has been a whirlwind the past couple months as I begin to adjust to the almost-post-college lifestyle. Sure I have one more semester, but now is the moment of truth. The time where I find my own place and start looking for steady job options.

Fortunately, both of those haven’t been too difficult. I just recently moved into a new place and, though its been a lot of work, it has been well worth it. The place is starting to feel more and more like home as we begin to get more settled.

The job portion is also coming along. After almost a year of interning at the same place I’m gradually gaining more and more experience, which could lead to possible opportunities in the future.

It’s all been an exciting roller coaster ride for me and I just wanted to let you all in on where I’m at. If you’re the most curious, I’ll attach a picture of the new place below.

Tomorrow I leave for the first annual Moon River Music Festival, which has essentially been my life for the past few months. Wish me luck!

Until next time!

 

Note to Self: Part 1

So recently I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and a lot more looking back. I had an interesting thought – “What advice would I give my past self if i could?”. I thought it might be fun to write it down in sort of a serial manner. Heck, maybe I can pass something on to you too, or even just get you thinking of your own advice. Here goes nothing. 

1. Yes, you’re shy, but don’t let that stop you from looking someone in the eyes or being the first one to say hello. Don’t wait for them to say it first. It might make you look like you’re just being rude. 

2. Take chances. Some of the best things in life stem from the people and situations you take a chance on. Don’t let fear cause you to miss out on something great. 

3. Just because you might not feel like you’re “as good” as someone else at something, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Everyone has their own styles and strengths; find yours and build on it. 

4. Don’t try to mold yourself to the people around you just to fit in. You were made by God to be the person you are. Don’t change that for anyone (unless there’s something that you want to change/work on to become a better you. But only then.)

5. Do what you love. Sometimes our hobbies aren’t where we end up working but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do them. There’s a reason you enjoy the things you enjoy. Go find out what that reason is. 

6. Hibernation is for bears. I don’t care how anti-social you’re feeling. Find one person you can happily sit in silence with and study with them or watch mindless TV. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the company. 

7. Don’t talk badly about people. Just don’t do it. Simple as that. 

8. Complaining won’t change a thing. Not the weather, not your grade on a test, not how late your blind date is. Also, no one really wants to hear it. If you need to vent, start a journal (or do what I did and just start a blog). 

9. Don’t be afraid to go to counseling. People are so easily ashamed of the problems they are facing, but there’s no reason to be. There’s a reason these jobs exist. Take advantage of that. 

10. Don’t be a doormat. You shouldn’t have to compromise your desires, decisions, or beliefs because you want to make someone else happy. In the long run, will you be happy too?

 

Alright, so this is just part one. Let these soak in and maybe pass them along to someone else who might need them. 

Until next time. 

Spare Change

Change can be scary. Trust me, I know. 

I’m quite possibly the biggest pack rat you will ever meet. From movie ticket stubs to foreign currency to maps and brochures of places I’ve been, I just don’t have the heart to throw anything away that was at once important to me. 

This may seem like no big deal to you, or it could sound like the newest episode of Hoarders. Either way, let’s talk about this for a second. 

Change is probably one of my biggest fears and it appears in so many different situations. We’ll start with the small scale of holding on to mementos and souvenirs. To me, everything that comes from a trip or a fun adventure becomes a souvenir. Have I ever sat and looked through this old stuff or used it for anything? No. But it’s that feeling that the second you throw it away you’ll suddenly get this urge to begin scrapbooking, as if it’s that simple. So instead, I just fill shoeboxes full of things that collect dust. This fear of change comes in the form of nostalgia, simply in the physical sense. 

The more emotional side of nostalgia comes during long stays in a certain place or with certain people. I tend to very quickly grow attached to people or places, which makes leaving exceedingly different. A great (and slightly embarrassing) example of this in my life came during the summer before college. I’ve always been close to my parents, to the point that leaving them to go to school terrified me. The idea that I may never live with them for an extended period of time kept me up every night for those three months after graduation. While everyone else seemed to be overly excited for their new adventure, I was having a hard time honing in on that excitement. I knew it was there somewhere, but it was hidden behind that fear of change. Of course, everything changes once you actually head off to school and get settled into your life and, as a senior in college, I can say that I’ve adjusted fully to this idea of being an “adult”. I was just so used to my life at home that I knew I would miss everything that I had become accustomed to. 

It’s just as easy to get attached to an item, whether it be something from your childhood or something from a long lost lover. It’s not as easy to just throw it away as everyone else seems to think it is. An item can hold memories for you and sometimes it’s just hard to let them go. 

The final type of change, that tends to be the toughest for me, is when either you or a loved one leaves for an extended period of time. In the coming days, someone special in my life will be leaving the country for 23 days (yes, I’ve already begin the countdown). This wouldn’t be such a tough thing for me if this wasn’t someone I spent every single day with. The idea of this person being, for the most part, out of touch, and not even in the same country is hard to think about, though I’m filled with excited for his adventure. I’ve just grown so accustomed to him being around that it’ll take at least a week to adjust to a situation far outside our norm. I don’t know that this is one that will ever really get easier for me and I’m okay with that. This just means that I care enough to miss their presence in my life, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Bottom line is this: it’s perfectly okay to fear change – just don’t let that fear slow you down. 

Grab fear by the horns and face change head on. Find a new normal when your old one becomes obsolete. You may find this new one is even greater than you imagined. 

Change is good. 

The struggles of real life.

It’s nearly impossible for me to find a second to sit down and right lately.

I’m smack dab in the middle of this huge project (for those of you who haven’t check out Moon River Music Festival you should) and it’s taking up all my spare time and energy.

I will be back, I promise. Give me two weeks tops. Until then, I’ll at least try to post funny pictures or reblog some relevant posts.

You guys are great. Here’s a fancy cat.

 

 

No Matter What They Say

(I promise this picture will make sense in no time)

So, yes, there appears to be a trend in my more recent blog posts. That trend? Putting song lyrics in the title that ironically foreshadow the topic I’m about to talk about. This time around, the topic is beauty.

Make sense now? Christina Aguilera circa 2002.

Now that we’re all on the same page, on to the real topic. We live in a world nowadays where many people, especially women, are constantly obsessing over what they look like and finding this mystical creature called perfection. Personally, I picture perfection as a unicorn: beautiful, fun to think about, and most importantly, NOT REAL (sorry if I offended anyone with that). The reality of it is this; those models you see on TV and in magazines? Photoshop is the photography world’s best friend in those circumstances. And, I’m sorry, (this might also possibly be offensive), all of the “real women” campaigns are wonderful, I love the concept so much, but sometimes “real” might be stick thin or lacking curves or being tall and lanky. This isn’t bad, every woman’s body is different. So why do I feel like all of those campaigns only contain curvy women? Skinny girls are real women too!

Enough of my little rant there. Here’s the deal- you were created in God’s image. God. Creator of all things. Name above all names. So who cares what the media tells you you should look like? God created you JUST the way you are, and I’m thinking He did it for a reason. He’s sneaky that way. 

Your goal should ultimately be to be healthy, happy, and love yourself the way He loves you. Just the way you are.

Now my challenge to you is this: go look at yourself in the mirror and find five positive things about yourself. Got them? Now write them on a sticky note and stick it to that same mirror. Every morning when your brushing your teeth or putting on your makeup or whatever else you do in the bathroom, look at these. Study them. Most importantly, BELIEVE THEM.

You are beautiful. No matter who you are, where you’re from, what school you go to (or don’t go to), who you’re dating…none of those things define who YOU are. That’s up to you and God. Now go out there and face beautiful with your head held high. You deserve it.

Love you for you.